Your Story: Joshua Mokma

Expectations
shared by Joshua Mokma

Expectations. We all have them.

What happens if you live your life out of other people’s expectations? What if everything or most of what you did was out of what others wanted you to do?

Who would you be?

I have some really bad news.

Who would you be? Probably not yourself and probably not who you were created to be.
For most of my life I have lived inside other people’s expectations for me. It has been my parents, grandparents, bosses, brothers…even my wife. I have lived a SAFE life.

The big question then is, WHO AM I?

Josh Mokma

To be honest, there is a huge part of me that has no idea who I am.

I just said that.

I have no idea who I am.

This is what happens when you live the life everyone else expects you to live.

The fix is really simple. Just stop living the life everyone else wants you to live. Learn about your personality. Find things you enjoy and do them. Don’t do the things you used to do out of obligation. Let people’s criticism of you fall off your shoulders.

Easier said than done, right?

It is. And in my experience, when you start stepping into your own life, people will attack you. Especially those closest to you. They will want you to stay in the mold they set for you. They will be confused why you stopped doing what you always used to do. They will tell you that you have changed and not in a good way.

This is the cost of living YOUR life. Not everyone is going to think it is so great, but in the end it will be worth it. My hope is that at the end of my life I can look back and say “this is the life that God wanted me to live and it was good.”

If you are tired of living the life everyone else wants you to live give a shout out in the comments below and start living YOUR OWN LIFE!

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11 thoughts on “Your Story: Joshua Mokma

  1. Josh, you are so right – it IS easier said than done… but one thing I am noticing as we begin to live our “own lives” is that we are becoming more courageous and are willing to take more risks. We are becoming stronger people too. Sometimes it’s hard when we choose to do something and others don’t get it so they become angry or disgusted. However, I’m beginning to realize – in the end, it really doesn’t matter what they think. If you’ve found something that you love to do, that is actually HEALTHY for you (cycling) so why WOULDN’T you pursue it more? Why do you need to have a reason other than, “I really enjoy cycling and I like to spend my free time doing it.” That’s GREAT!

    Thank you for guest posting! Your courage to come into the person you were created to be continues to inspire ME to press forward too.

  2. This is exactly what I am working on myself, and it’s HARD. It’s encouraging to hear another person’s story and get a little encouragement. Thank you. :)

    • Don’t give up! I feel like giving up all the time. I even have felt like giving up over the past couple days. It’s weird how sometimes I am on cloud nice, feelin’ good, no one can stop me and then other days… bleh. I won’t give up though, NEVER!

  3. Just read another blog post that had similar thoughts. Talking about the biggest regrets people have at the end of their lives. Number one regret was “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself not the life others expected of me.”
    Another was I’ wish I had the courage to express my feelings”

    I have discovered that no one can live my life for me. No one else is answerable but me. It just makes sense to step out and do what God created me to do and be. He always helps us weather the storms!
    great thoughts Joshua

    • BOOM! No one can live my life for me. I wonder if one of the biggest struggles for us humans and maybe one of the best tools or distractions Satan uses is POWER! I feel like a lot of times we always want to make those around us more like us as apposed to encouraging them to be like them! It seems like its a struggle to keep things in control the way WE like it to be. Or our parents keep pushing for us to be the way they want us to be, or our bosses, friends, etc. I have become (maybe to a fault) very weary (is that right?) of people in power. Are they there to help and guide me or are they there to make sure I stay in line with who they want me to be. Hmmmm.

  4. Josh, way to take a stand for who you are and what you have been put here for.

    I think those around us are actually often OK with the new, real us when we confidently step into that role. The transition can be tricky, but if we’re confident about it, it makes a big difference.

    Thanks for sharing.

    • Thanks Michael. Tricky indeed. It gets pretty scary (or at least it is for me) when you start to question everything from your faith to your work, to where you are living and why. YIKES! It totally sucks that most people and families just go along to get along. My confidence goes in and out, but I think it is because I get confused on what the heck is going on. ha! By the way, keep doing what you do! You and your wife and makin’ waves.

  5. Pingback: Being Who I Am | musings of a shiny penny

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