Saying “Yes” Can Be Hazardous to Your Health

"Lists" by Alana Mokma (click to enlarge image & back arrow to return to blog)

Everyone gets 24 hours in a day, yet some people seem to accomplish so much more than others. I am always feeling behind the 8-ball.

Today is Sunday and I have a long list of things I need to accomplish by Tuesday: Laundry, pack, homework, find paperwork, pick up a few items at the grocery store, etc. etc. However, in the bigger scheme of things, are any of these super important? Yes, they need to be done… but is the world going to end if I don’t finish them? No.

Earlier this week I made a commitment and then today totally dropped the ball. I was feeling overwhelmed and made my problem theirs by canceling plans. I’ve learned the hard way that overcommitment is worse than saying “no” in the first place.

I have a tendency to take on too many responsibilities at once; whether it is because I want to experience as much of life as possible or because I am afraid someone will get mad at me if I tell them no. When I look at my priorities, they are not what I want them to be.

Reality:
1). Everything Else
2). My relationship with my family
3). My relationship with God

What I want them to be:
1). My relationship with God
2). My relationship with my family
3). Everything Else

The first step is to recognize I have an issue. But I can’t only recognize it and do nothing about it. For years, I have known I had a self-destructive behavior of taking on too many tasks. Now it’s time for change. I know what I want my priorities to be, so I am going to live them.

For a fantastic resource on ways to say “No” without burning bridges, check out Kent Julian’s post from today at liveitforward.com. The post is titled, “‘NO’ is Not A 4-Letter Word.”

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6 thoughts on “Saying “Yes” Can Be Hazardous to Your Health

  1. First, YALL ARE COMING TO GEORGIA SOON! Yippy. Can’t wait to meet you and Josh!

    Second, PRIORITIES! Know what’s important to you and then adjust your life so your priorities are ACTUALLY getting your attention!

    Third, IT IS NOT EASY! (I wanted to add emphasis to each of those words by adding a ! at the end of each, but thought that was a little much.) Once you rearrange your life to put first things first, you WILL hurt some feelings, you WILL upset some folks. But they will either see it and eventually understand or move to the wayside.

    And by the way, I REALLY like your posts. I like your writing style and I like the message you’re putting across. Keep it up!

    ~Ivan

    • I know! I’m so excited to have made a few friends prior to our trip. I think hurting other people’s feelings and having them feel like I don’t care about them is the most painful part. Whether I say “no” right off the bat or initially say “yes” although in my head I know I’ll be cutting things close. Setting up healthy boundaries is a baby step I am working on.

    • Kent, I read your post and I really like the tips you provide on how to say “no” without burning bridges. It seems each of my last few posts have been right on target with what other bloggers are thinking and sharing!

    • ha. I knew we had a “people pleasing” connection! Its great that others are blogging about similar topics because it provides me with new perspectives. Saying “yes” to myself is a rarity. When I do this, I feel selfish. It has only been in the past year that I have realized I need to have “me” time. thanks for sharing, MJ!

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