Beware. Crazymakers Ahead.

A Crazymaker makes me feel like this.

Crazymakers. Before I even define it, you probably know what this means. Crazymakers are those personalities that create storm centers. They can be charismatic, charming, highly inventive and powerfully persuasive. A Crazymaker can take over your whole life. If you are a fixer-upper, you find a Crazymaker’s draw irresistible: so much to change, so many distractions.

Crazymakers love drama. They also love being the star. Everyone surrounding them ends up functioning as the supporting cast, taking orders at the whim of this shining star. They expect special treatment and discount your own reality. In their world, nothing is their fault.

Below are some conversations you may have with a Crazymaker:

Crazymaker: I’m at the airport and need you to pick me up.
You: I can’t. It’s the middle of the workday and I am working.
Crazymaker: Puhleeeease? I didn’t bring any taxi money! You don’t want me to sit here in the airport alone all day, do you?
You: Fine. I’ll come get you.

::Ring::
You: Hello?
Crayzmaker: Hey, can I borrow your camping gear? I’m leaving for a camping trip tomorrow morning and I don’t have a tent or sleeping bag. (It’s 11:00 P.M.)
You: And you’re telling me now? I’d have to dig the gear out of the shed…
Crazymaker: Sweet! I’ll be over in 5 minutes to pick them up. But I only have 5 minutes. My favorite Happy Days re-run is about to come on and I am not going to miss it. Have it ready when I get there… ::click::

Okay, by now you probably have a few specific people in mind. I know I do. I also can admit I’ve been a Crazymaker myself. I’ve been this way to one of my coworkers, to my dad, my sister and even to my own husband.

Now that you have identified the Crazymakers in your life, here is what you can do about it:

If you are dealing with a Crazymaker: STOP. First you must admit this fact. Admit that you are being used. They are a block between where you are now and the life you want to live. Set up boundaries for yourself. It is okay to tell someone “no.” They may kick and scream and pout, but you need to be true to yourself.

If you are the Crazymaker: STOP. Realize how you are showing up in other peoples’ lives. Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on their part. Be aware of your behavior and requests. If you put a little more effort into your own life, you may be surprised by how willing others are to help.

This topic and most of this information was pulled from Julia Cameron’s book, The Artist’s Way.)

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15 thoughts on “Beware. Crazymakers Ahead.

  1. This is a great post. I feel like you and me are finally starting to make some headway into who we really want to be. Congrats! Crazymakers be warned. “No” is a powerful word.

  2. This video goes with the STOP bit above.

    I was thinking I met the definition of a crazymaker until you got to the whole… they’re basically a piece of crap bit. I don’t fit that bill. I do my best not to take advantage of people. And I HATE asking for stuff. So I try not to do it.

    But I do think I bring a serious amount of energy and a forceful personality to break people out of personal inertia.

    What do you think?

    ~Ivan

    • Ivan, thanks for the video post! That made me smile. πŸ™‚

      You definitely bring a serious amount of energy and strong personality to the table, however I personally do not view you as a Crazymaker. There are additional definitions I did not include in this post, but bottom line: A Crazymaker puts himself first. He has no regard for what may be going on in the other person’s life. He expects others to drop everything to serve him and creates a sense of urgency that is often false … or, it may be an urgent matter, but mainly because he dropped the ball first.

      From the few times we have spent together, I get a HUGE sense from you that you are here to serve others. You’ll do whatever you can to make sure you are answering questions and I bet you would be one to help others in a bind. You also have a great ability to tell others how you really feel, so I do not see you getting tied up in this kind of relationship. HOWEVER, a Crazymaker will be drawn specifically to you because they know you like to help.

  3. Another excellent post, Alana.

    And guess who is amazing at dealing with Crazymakers. My wife, Kathy. She’s so calm and easy-going, but she is definitely not a pushover. Servant…yes! Pushover…NO!

    I’ve learned a lot from her πŸ™‚

    Kent Julian
    http://www.liveitforward.com

    • OH man, I wish I would have tracked her down at the mixer a couple weeks ago! 😦 She sounds amazing from everything you share about her. Hopefully there will be another opportunity to connect with Kathy in the future.

  4. I have quite a few of these in my life, and it’s so hard to deal with, but Steve and I are getting so much better at it. Life is too short to deal with the drama. However, it does make me feel like when we try to focus on ourselves, and not these crazymakers, does that make us selfish? It’s a delicate balance, that I’m not sure we’ve gotten down yet. I’m not the most graceful person, so it may be hard to walk that line without tipping. πŸ˜‰

    • Oh man Brandi. I felt like I was a Crazymaker to YOU just last week! “Hi, can you come help us move our couch in two hours?” Not to say we can never ask others for help but sometimes we/I put things off until the last minute. We greatly appreciated you and Steve coming to help us with such short notice!

      Mmmm… great question! I can totally see how you would feel selfish if you focused on yourselves. It IS a delicate balance of helping out others vs. saying no. A Crazymaker knows how to guilt you and they aren’t afraid to do it if it will get them what they want.

      I think a big warning sign is if it is someone who is constantly asking you for help and not really doing anything in return to build the relationship. If you are constantly bailing a person out, I think it would be good to have a chat or remove yourself from the situation/relationship.

  5. One of my close friends is a crazymaker but I learned to say no a long time ago to her. I don’t wait for her and I don’t bend over backwards. I think ultimately, we have a much better relationship and she has more respect for me than she does for most other people because I make her work for our friendship where so many other people heed her beck and call.

    “NO” doesn’t work for all crazymakers. So, try to avoid them like the plague. πŸ™‚

    • Ooooh! this is SO GOOD! The fact that you have noticed your friend has more respect for you now than she does other people is great! I have found this to be true as well. The people that I create boundaries with TYPICALLY end up respecting me more… if they don’t, the friendship dissolves. Thank you for sharing, XTA.

  6. EEK! CRAZYMAKERS!

    Alana, I love how you can distill a concept down to so few words. I am still working on this…because I tend to be…VERBOSE.

    I agree wholeheartedly with the concepts set forth in this article. Because you are full of awesome, and I need to read more.

    • Sarah, thank you for checking out my site! It’s funny that you say I can share a concept in few words – I struggle because I feel like my posts are still too long! Since writing this article, I have been more in tune with recognizing Crazymakers in my life and areas that I am still showing up as a Crazymaker in other people’s lives!

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