My Orgasm of Purpose
written by Terri Spaulding
For nearly 47 years I didn’t question my purpose in life. I knew exactly who I was and what was expected of me.
I went from being someone’s daughter, to being a wife; a worker bee, and then a mom. My all encompassing purpose and focus became to raise good boys. And then seemingly overnight, they were no longer boys, but men, and beginning lives of their own. My daily routine, the one in which I knew my purpose, was no longer set by what was going on in their lives and I was no longer needed. At least not in the same way, and I panicked.
The panic I will describe as the feeling that I could no longer see my future. I was entering my second half of life and I wasn’t prepared. How had I not only failed to stay in touch with “me”, but also stopped paying attention to my passions? Who was I?
So I began my journey to figure out who I was, and where I was going. I mistakenly started off by looking to find meaning in my work life, as if that would give me the purpose I felt so strongly about. It didn’t take long to discover I was no longer happy with the job I had spent the last 20 years in. Realizing this might have been my scariest moment of all, because I had no idea what to do next.
So I set out to reacquaint myself with “me”. That meant not only figuring out who I was, but who I wanted to be; uncovering any new passions, and letting go of things that no longer were important to me. And not to sound morose but, I seriously began to think about what I wanted to be remembered for.This obsession meant I intentionally forced myself out of my comfort zone, and into new situations. Some of them proved to be things I never knew I would like, others became just a flash in the pan. Through it all I asked myself the deep questions. Journaling helped. Being able to look back over the things I wrote down over time made it easier to be honest with myself. Reading helped. I switched to non-fiction books and started learning from others who had found their purpose. Talking with a patient and caring husband helped. As did asking for expert assistance. Sometimes others can see what you cannot, and provide you a fresh perspective.
It snuck up on me
You don’t get to choose
I believe that at our core there is a constant, some might call it the way we are wired, or what makes us tick. While our outside self constantly evolves and changes, our inner core is what drives us and keeps us moving in the right direction. What’s weird is that you don’t get to pick your purpose. It isn’t like crafting a clever bio or choosing a new career, your purpose is just always in you. It is the motivation behind all that you do and —once discovered, it might not even be what you hoped it would be. It just is. And you will know when you have found yours. Your orgasm of purpose will just make sense.
Not everyone will be excited for you
In my zest to share how complete I felt after discovering my purpose, I soon realized something important. If you have to ask the question: why does it matter what my life’s purpose is, then you are not ready to uncover yours. Nor are you likely to share in the excitement that I have found mine.
But it’s okay, because when you ARE ready, you will know it. And when you finally experience your orgasm of purpose, the rest of us who have already found ours, will be celebrating right there with you!Terri considers herself a passionate realist. Married for over 27 years, she and her husband Mike have two biological sons, and two “almost children”, who move in and out of their lives and home. Blogging is her way of making sense of life’s craziness, and by sharing her successes and failures, she hopes to inspire others along the way. Terri believes in love, passion, family, laughter, honesty, second chances, and happy endings (and she’s not afraid to get emotional about any one of them). At the end of the day, she believes you can’t sit back and wait for life to happen, you have to make it happen. And, it has to matter.