So, I Married An Introvert

Two weeks ago I shared what I’ve recently learned about Introverts from Laurie Helgoe’s book, Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength.
[If you missed that post, it’s a good read. You can check it out here.]

I highlighted items that I could think back to specific experiences I have had with introverts. This one stood out to me the most:

An introvert needs time to think. If you ask him a question and he doesn’t respond immediately, it is not because he does not have an opinion. He is forming the thought in his head before he speaks. Allow time for this silence. Even if it’s uncomfortable for you extroverts. If you try to fill that break in conversation, you may miss out on a highly perceptive opinion.

Today, I share about the marital bliss of the introvert/extrovert relationship. 😉 Continue reading


The Introvert

Introverts are incredibly fascinating people. Perhaps I feel this way because I have extroverted tendencies. Maybe an introvert would not be mesmerized by a fellow introvert the way that I am mesmerized… but I didn’t always feel this way.

A few months ago, I struggled with my perception of “the introvert.” My experience has been that he is quiet, doesn’t want to talk, makes me feel uncomfortable because he doesn’t want to talk, and it seems he could care less if he knew me or didn’t know me. This didn’t make me feel special, and I want to feel special. So, with this perception, as I came across introverts in my life, I’d give them a certain amount of time and if they didn’t open up to me, I’d move on and find someone new to engage with. Continue reading

I Don’t Wanna Work

Do you struggle with staying focused? I do. I’ve noticed my ability to focus plummet over the past couple months. I started to believe there was something wrong with me. Then I realized three things:

1). My current job is full of interruptions
2). I do not enjoy my work tasks
3). When I do enjoy my task and I have a period with minimal interruptions – I have laser sharp focus.

When you are struggling with focusing on your work, here are a few things I recommend to get refreshed and refocused: Continue reading


Derek Sivers

No matter which goal you choose, there will be lots of people telling you you are wrong. Just pay close attention to what excites you and what drains you. Pay close attention to when you are being the real you and when you are trying to impress an invisible jury. – Derek Sivers

My friend Dan Hefferan recommended I check out this book – Anything You Want: 40 Lessons for a New Kind of Entrepreneur by Derek Sivers. In this book Derek shares how he started a hobby, accidentally grew it into a big business and sold it for $22 million! Ridiculous. Continue reading

Being Who I Am

Note from Alana: This is strange. Josh and I both wrote our posts on this topic within a similar time frame. Each not knowing the other person was writing about the same theme. I’m intrigued by how many 30-somethings struggle with their identity… and perhaps people of all ages do, but it’s the 30-somethings that are beginning to speak out. You can see Josh’s guest post here.

Alana Mokma, you are OKAY as you are.

Just be you.
Just be you! It sounds so simple. Yet for me, this is really difficult. To be honest, it’s embarrassing. Especially because I’m putting myself out there as a person who can help you identify who you are. I can help you identify your strong spots, your weak spots, your passions, your talents… but… I’ve been struggling to do this for myself.

Two weeks ago, I realized why: Continue reading

Your Story: Joshua Mokma

shared by Joshua Mokma

Expectations. We all have them.

What happens if you live your life out of other people’s expectations? What if everything or most of what you did was out of what others wanted you to do?

Who would you be?

I have some really bad news.

Who would you be? Probably not yourself and probably not who you were created to be.
For most of my life I have lived inside other people’s expectations for me. It has been my parents, grandparents, bosses, brothers…even my wife. I have lived a SAFE life.

The big question then is, WHO AM I?

Josh Mokma

To be honest, there is a huge part of me that has no idea who I am.

I just said that.

Continue reading

The Speech

“…And a last born will exhibit characteristics of charm, and a social and outgoing personality. They look for opportunities to have fun.”

I was on fire. It was 1999, and I was standing on stage, presenting my high school senior thesis on “Birth Order Psychology.” As I saw it, the parents and teachers were enthralled – hanging on my every word. Every few moments, a burst of laughter would erupt from the crowd in response to a witty comment I had woven into my speech. I was on cloud nine.

I had no idea then that thirteen years later, I would come full-circle and find myself passionately interested in a similar topic – personality styles and how our wiring affects our behavior and outlook.

Continue reading